So... last weekend Hove Town Hall was full of hundreds of groovy looking gardeners for Seedy Sunday, Brighton's biggest seed swapping event. Yesterday however, the building teemed with hundreds of anxious musicians waiting for a 2 minute audition in front of a panel of 8 music industry judges. Think X-factor with instruments, real musicians and full bands, but without the gloss, hype, theme music and Simon Cowell and you've got Live and Unsigned.
In the end I only had to wait half an hour for my audition but averaged a trip to the toilet about twice every five minutes (to check I had got all the sleep out of my eyes, that the hair which poked out wildly from under my hat didn't look too much like it was trying to take over my face, to pass out all of the water I was drinking to ease my nerves, to warm up my voice and to spend some anxious minutes deeply regretting the late night curry I had consumed the night before).
So it was that after feeling fully preened and emptied out, I stepped into the lion's mouth. The format was strange, being that three or more people/contestants went in at the same time. I went in with a guitarist-singer duo and was told I was up first. So a guy wearing a black T-shirt who seemed to be playing the part of Simon Cowell asked me a little bit about myself and I answered quickly and factually, trying a bit too hard to be funny, meanwhile 8 pairs of eyes from behind the long judges desk gradually rose up from 8 score sheets towards my awkward explanations of how "I would do more open mics but it's cold and I live on a boat."
And then he said "OK, off you go". And off I went, singing the two minute version of my new song, Who Knows, that I had prepared. Too slowly and an octave too low. And on I went. I sounded like a old time crooner and when I got to the Chorus the first time I sang it at the right pitch but twice as loud to make sure they got that I wasn't a Bing Crosby tribute act, before returning to the verse an octave too low and wondering how I'd managed to make the same mistake twice so eagerly and without any helpful intervention from my mind (which I realised had retreated to a safe distance to watch this whole accident). I was finishing strong but was silenced mid-sentence by the "Simon" man and then had to wait uncomfortably, shifting my weight from foot to foot while the duo next to me performed. A man and a very tall woman in a long white dress. The singer was very smooth and right before they finished, one of the guitarist's strings broke. The judges all laughed promisingly at them and I hung my head and as we all shuffled out a technician anxiously chased after me shouting to remove my guitar lead which was still plugged into my guitar and tripping up the next wave of performers, a rock band it looked like, who were cautiously trying to climb into the room over my sprawling stupidity. I felt like a dunce.
Down I sat with my friend and sipped yet more water but this time in a slow, conciliatory manner.
After a short while, a very friendly guy, whom I assumed to be playing the part of Dermot O'Leary, came and said to me with a mock-consoling expression "unfortunately... today it's a...... yes."
I don't know quite how but I did it! Maybe they're all Bing Crosby fans.
So, That was that! It's given me a real boost and for the next part I will be playing songs in the regional final in the Hove Centre on the 29th of April! If you are around in a couple of months time or could be to show your support, please let me know! Tickets are £8 for a 90 minute concert of Brighton's brightest and best new and original talent. Plus, if you intend on getting tickets for this show you can also buy them straight from me, then I get lots of Kudos and music-related prizes like studio time and other such goodness (and, OK if you insist, I promise to put you on my guest list if I end up playing at the O2 in London later in the year! Sold yet? Add me some comments below!)
As my friend David would exclaim, "Happy Days!"
p.s. below is the picture which I used as the front cover for my Xmas covers album, reproduced for those of you I didn't get to see in person at Christmas!
