I threw up today.
My stomach was feeling tight all morning. A feeling of unfulfilled excitement and desire... and a raw pain too close to the surface.
A certain situation had triggered some old memories, some half-forgotten teenage nightmares. I took some deep breaths for quarter of an hour. Then threw up. Then laughed.
I feel like I let go of some long-buried panic today, some bitter seed I had watched bloom, wither and die. Which now, years after swallowing, I spat out.
That crippled fear belongs in the past.
love is firmly planted in me today.
Here's to new beginnings.
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